Habit 1: Happy People Live in the Present

"Take time to stop and smell the roses." - Proverb

Let's start with a habit that I KNOW needs to be applied to my life stat. I am definitely a worry wart, but I come by it honestly. My mom is a worry wart and so was her mom before her and I'm sure her mom before her. The future and its uncertainty can keep the mind swirling in an inescapable anxiety vortex. This habit of living in the worries of the unknown plagues me. Often times, it's not even big things I find myself consumed with, but more the little day to day choices that I make. I find myself anxiously overthinking someone's reaction to an email that I sent.

Will they think I'm rude?

Did I word that right?

Do they know that was sarcasm?

The overthinking is at the center of it all. If we could travel into my head like in Inside Out, my brain headquarters would have a Joy, Sadness, Fear, etc. Running the show, though, would be Anxiety and Rumination. 

There have been times as a parent that I've had to give myself a strong pep-talk before taking my little 4-year old outside of the house, especially anywhere that will be crowded.
Child (AKA My Heart Outside of My Body) + Area with Hoards of Random People = Crippling Death Spiral of a Million Terrifying Possibilities.

The mysterious future is only one aspect stealing focus on the present. The other, of course, is the past. The past can be just as much of a minefield as the future. Unlike the anxiety of the future though, the past tends to have a pull towards sadness and longing. It holds the promise of knowing what was, but then causing the pain in understanding it is no longer. 

There is a quote (often attributed to Lao Tzu, but also Warren Buffet, so I'll just say by Unknown) that states: "If you're depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present." 

If you feel me on this, first let me say: welcome to the club! Secondly, let's see if we can change these habits, shall we?

Over this next week, I'm going to apply two suggestions for helping a person live more in the moment. 

The first is similar to a tactic used in meditation: thought labeling. As soon as that vortex begins to swirl, take a deep breathe, mentally step back and label the thoughts as they come. If it's an unfounded anxious thought, simply think: anxiety. If it's a sad thought related to the past, think: sadness or nostalgia. This practice of labeling does not carry with it any judgement, only the idea that by calling the thoughts what they truly are, we can start to piece together the reality hidden in the haze. 

The second is to brain dump every morning. If you're thinking, "um, a brain what now?" don't worry, you're not alone. I picked up this trick from a casual conversation with an acquaintance who  explained this concept while I sat in awe. How it works: you sit down and write down anything and everything that's flying through your head. You can write to-dos, anxieties, wishes, random thoughts, etc. The idea is to capture it on paper, preventing it from whipping around in your noggin anymore.  Once the list is written, you can decide what to do next. Some of the tangible things you can make a plan for. Other things, you might untangle further a bit later. Whatever your next move, those thoughts racing through your mind are now captured in the written word, freeing your brain and allowing it room to really focus.

Here goes nothing! :)